The Circle Game

Me and my uncle Shawn (I look about Mimi's age here)

Life is changing so fast over here! I don't even have time to reflect on how quickly we are hitting toddler milestones!

Like just the other week I realized we never need to use our cute cheetah diaper change-pad again! I had to catch myself from getting emotional about the fact that we are out of the diaper phase! While also being SO GRATEFUL that we made it through that stage!

We're captive on this carousel of time. We can't return we can only look, Behind from where we came – Dang, Joni's song just nails these big emotions so well. I just have to hear the opening notes and I get catapulted into the wistful winds of time.

And the changes keep comin'!!!

My Papa recently moved into a assisted care home, so a lot of his furniture and belongings need to be sorted: keep, donate, garbage... you know the drill. We went over to his place on Saturday so start this process.

I mentally prepared myself for the heaviness of going through their belongings, including my Nana's things, and also my aunt and uncle, who have also passed away. It feels like an impossible task to through it all.

If you ever saw my film, Peace, Daal, & Partition, you know that my grandma documented everything.

Along with her incredible knitted sweaters, the boxes of her photos, negatives, and albums are my most precious - and daunting - 'keeper' item.

It's not lost on me that these photos are my inheritance - a rich, beautiful archive all documented by someone I love so much. (Do you remember the scene in Richie Rich (1994) when they finally break into the family vault and it's all sentimental things and no gold bars?! Talk about relatable!)

Her photos remind me so much of my own! I'm always trying to capture moments of hilarity, growth, pride for posterity (but never quite catching the right shot!

I understand so deeply the urge to just freeze time in a snapshot.

One photo of my mom, aunt, and uncle had "My Three Precious Gems" scribbled on the back. These notes are a treat.

My Nana was so loving, and affectionate. Not only through photos, but also with food, words of love, hugs – the works! It's hard to reckon with the fact that she's not here with me still.

It's kind of crazy to suddenly be out in the world without people that make up so much of your identity.

Nana teaching me to make roti, looking like i'm getting the hang of it!

And now we have to sort through their stuff and decide what is worth keeping.

As a 'archivist' also known as a collector/ hoarder, I struggle with this. It really takes every ounce of energy to let go of things.

Very apropos pin by @grovy.space on instagram

And it's not just the 'personal' stuff that's interesting to me. It's also the vintage ephemera, the details of design, the fabrics, the print – there are so many stories to unpack.

Especially as a fan of Annie Atkins, and her process to create iconic graphic choices for film. She collects and replicates vintage paper ephemera for props in films like The Grand Budapest Hotel.

vintage film development service - love the stickers, stamps, tape, and texture

Archiving my family's experience as immigrants to Canada also feels important.

An extended family member's immigration card from 1970

Things like seeing a photo of my aunt's softball team ("the village drunks" – who approved that?!) where she's the only non-white kid on the team. I wish I could ask her about the lore of this team! Or ask her more about growing up.

My aunt and uncle's stuff is equally hard to part with.